Friday, September 07, 2007

And Now, A Message From Preeminent Climatologist, Ted Stevens

Expert climatologist and Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens has confidently claimed that global warming is winding down. In a local news broadcast story on the effects of climate change on an Alaskan town, Stevens predicted that the end of bad weather conditions was at its end.

Stevens, while acknowledging the impact of global climate change, said he believes the worst may be over.

"We're at the end of a long, long term of warming. 700 to 900 years of increased temperature, a very slow increase. We think we're close to the end of that. If we're close to the end of that, that means that we'll starting getting cooler gradually, not very rapidly, but cooler once again and stability might come to this region for a period of another 900 years," Stevens said.
This was his way of telling the residents of Shishmaref, which is being washed away by rising waters despite the construction of massive sea walls, that they're on their own.

Stevens' statement also came as a surprise to Deborah Williams, the president of Alaska Conservation Solutions, who said that his theory is a "new one." It just so happens that the Senator's theory contradicts all previous findings of climate change scientists, including the IPCC study released a few months ago.

"I have not heard of any credible climatologist who believes that the earth is going to cool," said Williams. "To the best of my knowledge, every climatologist believes that the Earth is going to warm, in large part because of greenhouse gas emissions."

This is the same man who once described the internet as a "series of tubes" in reference to network neutrality. In his credit though, as the green-lifestyle blog TreeHugger points out, Stevens has come a long way from when he argued that man-made greenhouse gases do not contribute to global warming.


Kristina said...

oh Ted Stevens, why did you have to be from UCLA?

BruinKid said...

It was worse last year. Then, we had both Stevens and George "macaca" Allen representing UCLA in the Senate.

(Allen transferred to UVa after his freshman year here. Ironically enough, Jim Webb originally went to USC before going to the Navy.)