But I have figured out a way for Democrats to finally wield some influence over the Bush White House. Though I must warn all of you that it will involve a lot of fundraising.
Now that the president is on his way out of Washington, one of his growing concerns is how to fund his presidential library. Of course, a presidential library is a very expensive project. The president estimates that he will need about $500 million to do the job right. The New Republic notes that he has already received donations from "wealthy heiresses, Arab nations, and captains of industry." If history is any indicator, he will probably auction off a few presidential pardons as well. Edward L. Cox donated between $100,000 and $250,000 to George H.W. Bush's library after his son--who was imprisoned on charges of bank fraud--received a presidential pardon in 1993. Likewise, Denise Rich gave $450,000 to build the William J. Clinton Library after her husband, Marc Rich, received a presidential pardon for charges of tax-evasion and racketeering.
Nevermind all this talk about phased-withdrawal and partitioning Iraq into ethnic enclaves. Getting out of Iraq really isn't that complicated; the only thing Democrats need to do is donate a hefty monetary contribution to the George W. Bush Presidential Library. Quick! Call George Soros and Norman Hsu! Get all those Democrats making money off hedge funds on the line, too!
I do forsee one small problem, though. It's unlikely that America will know anything about the Democratic Party's role in bringing our troops home. Unfortunately, like every president before him, Bush is not under legal obligation to make donations to his library public. What a pity!